Bored

So I've been thinking a lot about how my life will turn out when I graduate college...and I'm not impressed with myself. I don't know, I'm so boring. I wish I was like the girls in John Green novels. I wish I was more like Alaska or Margo Roth Spiegleman. I think I need a hobby. I don't have anything to do. I don't have anything to talk to people about, and if I had something special, something that was mine, I'd feel more comfortable around people.

In which I write until I have nothing left to say.

Today I had somewhat of an emotional overload, and I needed to do something about it so I started writing. For me, writing is sort of a way to cleanse the soul and leave me new and ready to start over. I grabbed my Superman journal and started writing, then I opened a new Word document and started typing, and finally I started a blog. I really don't expect anyone to read this, I just want to finally have the audacity to say what I really feel in a public place. Usually I keep what I have to say to myself, but when I write, it's like I'm talking to the most perfect listener ever.

So tonight I feel like something really big is about to happen on my dorm's hall. Things need to be said to one another. I need to say some things to people, and I hope I have the nerve to say them. I think I have finally come to the point in my life where I can finally say what I need to. So here are the questions I had to face tonight. How much of what I write and say do I edit?  Do I think about how I feel and then wait until I better understand the situation ? And if I my feelings change do I change what I say? Do I say what I feel when I feel it and continually update how I feel? Do I have need one overall emotion or is having so many different emotions for the day okay? I don't know. I need to give others the same respect that I would want, and I'm so very thankful for friends who remind me of that.

E.